I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
