I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
