So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
