Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
