i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize