I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
