Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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