So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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