I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
