she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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