his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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