I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it because I queefed?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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