If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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