Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
