I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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