Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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