I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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