i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
