Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
