Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
