so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
