so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's always time for handjobs
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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