I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
