would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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