I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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