Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
