She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize