LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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