i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My bed smells like the plague
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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