I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
