I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
