just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
