Your mouth is God's brothel.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
