with your own penis?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
