How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
