So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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