definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
