She is in my trunk
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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