My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
