I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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