saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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