Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
