It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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