I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
