As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
