Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
