so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Two words: blizzard sex
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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