We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize