oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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