They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize