fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
one might say we're banned from that church
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
