haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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