omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
