how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize