All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
