i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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