I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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