No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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