You're so nebulous sometimes
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
