Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
