she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
