Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
