i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
