just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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