im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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