Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
