I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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