would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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