Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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